Sarah*, a wheelchair user in her forties, told The Independent she had “no privacy at all” as her abuser accessed her bank accounts, intercepted hospital appointments, and monitored her through smart home devices.
“He had access to all my accounts, my bank, my emails, everything,” she said. “The worst thing was him cancelling my hospital appointments. He would tell them I was too poorly when it wasn’t true. I’d then have to wait months to be seen.”
Her partner exploited his role as carer, controlling her medication, cancelling prescriptions, and even withholding pain relief. “He liked seeing me in pain,” she said. “It was relentless.”
Sarah’s benefits were redirected to his account, leaving her without food or basic essentials. “I got so embarrassed, never having enough food in the house or even shampoo to wash my hair,” she recalled.
After years of abuse, Sarah reached out to Refuge and was moved to supported living, where she regained financial control and safety. “Thank God I built up the courage to call for help. The support has been incredible.”
Emma Pickering, head of Refuge’s technology-facilitated abuse and economic empowerment team, said cases like Sarah’s reflect a growing “epidemic” of violence against women and girls mediated through technology.
Her team has seen a 205% increase in referrals over six years, a trend she says “represents just the tip of the iceberg”.
“For many disabled survivors, adaptive home technologies are a lifeline yet even these can be weaponised by abusers,” Ms Pickering said. “We’ve seen perpetrators exploit their role as carers, using technology to isolate and control survivors.”
She urged the government to ensure the forthcoming Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy includes a comprehensive plan to tackle tech-enabled abuse.
A Home Office spokesperson said: “Tackling VAWG in all of its forms, including when it takes place online or is facilitated by technology, is a top priority for this government.”
The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327.
Name has been changed for safety reasons.
