In reality, it rarely does. Tasks pile up, demands multiply and, at times, everything tips over into that familiar, gut-tightening sense that life is spinning out of control. Feeling overwhelmed has become so common it has earned noun status: overwhelm.
But overwhelm does not have to end in burnout. According to Claudia Hammond, award-winning broadcaster, psychologist and author of Overwhelmed: Ways to Take the Pressure Off, there are practical, evidence-based ways to reduce stress, even when it feels relentless.
Hammond, who presents All in the Mind on BBC Radio 4 and is a visiting professor at the University of Sussex, understands the pressure personally. “I’ve always been someone who burns the candle at both ends,” she says. “I like being busy and I like socialising.” Friends were sceptical when she first wrote about rest. “They said, ‘You never rest. You’re always doing everything.’”
Yet researching overwhelm changed her habits. She now steps into her garden for short breaks during the workday and no longer feels guilty for doing so. “That time protects my mental health,” she says. While she admits to perfectionist tendencies, she is learning to be kinder to herself when things go wrong.
Her book draws together psychological research and real-world strategies. These seven principles stand out.
1. Write tomorrow’s to-do list before bed
Your to-do list will never be finished, and that is okay. Hammond keeps multiple lists, one of which contains dozens of items. Rather than seeing it as oppressive, she reframes it as evidence of a full life.
Writing tasks down helps offload mental strain, a process psychologists call cognitive offloading. Research shows that people who write detailed to-do lists before bed fall asleep faster than those who simply reflect on their achievements. The act of writing reassures the brain that it no longer needs to keep rehearsing tasks overnight.
2. Speak to yourself like you would a friend
Perfectionism often looks like diligence, but it carries a hidden cost. “Perfectionists set impossibly high standards,” Hammond says. “They feel they must never make mistakes, at anything.”
This self-criticism fuels insecurity and stress. A simple test helps: would you speak to a friend this harshly? Reframing goals as part of your identity can also boost motivation. Research shows people are more likely to follow through when they think of themselves as “a runner” rather than someone who “goes running”.
3. Use stress, don’t fight it
Not all stress is harmful. In performance situations, a certain level of arousal can sharpen focus and improve outcomes. Studies show that people who reinterpret stress symptoms as excitement rather than fear perform better and appear more confident.
Other research suggests that understanding stress as potentially helpful leads to healthier physical responses. The key distinction is between short-term stress, which can be energising, and chronic stress, which wears us down.
4. Avoid emotional invalidation, from others and yourself
Well-meaning phrases such as “cheer up” or “don’t worry” can make distress feel dismissed. Hammond notes that repeated emotional invalidation, especially in childhood, is linked to long-term mental health difficulties.
Naming emotions precisely can help reduce their intensity. Saying you feel “jaded” or “trapped” rather than vaguely “bad” helps calm the brain. Suppressing feelings, by contrast, often makes them stronger.
5. Do the hardest task first
Procrastination is not about poor time management. It is about emotion management. We delay tasks that trigger discomfort, fear or anxiety, even when avoidance makes things worse.
Hammond recommends “swallowing the frog”, tackling the most dreaded task first. The relief that follows often outweighs the initial discomfort, freeing up mental space for the rest of the day.
6. Learn from regret, then let it go
Humans are wired to feel losses more strongly than gains, which makes regret particularly sticky. But regret can be useful if it leads to learning and behaviour change. What matters is shifting from “what if” thinking to “at least” thinking, recognising what was gained or learned.
This mindset shift helps explain why bronze medallists often appear happier than silver medallists. They compare themselves to missing out entirely, rather than narrowly falling short of gold.
7. Take breaks, especially when you’re busy
When time feels tight, breaks are often the first thing to go. Yet research consistently shows that short breaks improve focus, mood and productivity. Even one or two minutes can help restore energy.
Activities that require minimal attention, such as staring out of a window, letting the mind wander or doodling, are particularly effective. Fatigue, Hammond warns, quietly undermines concentration, judgment and memory, increasing the risk of overwhelm.
The takeaway
Overwhelm thrives when life feels non-stop and self-criticism runs unchecked. Small, science-backed changes, such as writing things down, reframing stress and resting without guilt, can make a powerful difference.
Relief does not require a dramatic lifestyle overhaul. Sometimes, it starts with a pause.
